It's time to let go

I love him. In fact, if only he feels the same way, I am so willing to take the risks of being with him and am not giving up. But for the past few months, things have gotten more complicated as I thought it would be. I have realized so many things. One major realization I had is that -- mahirap siya mahalin. I would have gladly accept all his imperfections if I had to but I've come to know him as someone who has different outlooks in life, love and marriage. And I guess one of the reasons why it's not going to be us because I don't share with him the same beliefs that I have when it comes to love, commitment and marriage. Somehow, his failed relationships, changed him. Another reason would be no matter how much I reached out to him so I can get to know him better, he just won't let me in. He has closed his mind, heart and life and I couldn't get in. As much as I would like to know him well, stay beside him and be his friend, he won't let me be.

I have reasons to stay and hold onto if only he want me to. And I also have reasons to let go of this feelings because it's going nowhere. I only end up hurting myself every single day that I have this feelings for him. We don't talk anymore. He only talks to me when he's bored and got nothing else to do. So I guess this is letting go and moving on.

I have hopes

I am no quitter. I am full of hopes in life and love. I don't just give up. I fight when necessary. I take the risks when worth it. But I know when to stop. It may not be him but it will be someone else - the person God will bring into my life. And I am certain that when he comes along, it's going to be at the right time, right moment and for the right reasons. :)

Sing when you're happy!

Yes, I am singing and am happy! And I'm thankful. :)

I am happy because after contemplating for couple of weeks, my heart is in good condition again. I won't deny that I was sad when we stopped talking again because for me, we are good friends but he proved me wrong. We weren't friends because if we were, he would have reached out on me to at least say sorry. And he didn't. Therefore, he doesn't have a spot in my heart and in my life. He doesn't deserve my friendship.

He is just like them. A little jerk. And someone who does not value friendship. I don't mind losing him again. I don't need someone like him in my life. So now, I am happy to say that he's out of my life and he doesn't have to come back ever again.

Did I ever write in here that I love singing?! Yes, I do! I used be a choir member way back in high school. It's just so sad that I didn't take voice lessons because I was too lazy when I was a kid. Yeah, regret comes in the end. I should have taken lessons. One of my dream jobs is to be a stage actress just like my idol, Lea Salonga. As a kid, I wanted to be like her.

On a thanksgiving note, I am so thankful that my mother is continuously recovering form her illness, my father has never been hospitalized since he got out of the hospital last year, my sister being pregnant on her 2nd child (we are yet to find out the gender, i'm hoping for a boy though), Bella is growing to be such a beautiful and smart kid, Adrianna being the bundle of joy of my sister and brother in law, I went back to Graduate School and I may not be in love, I may not be able to find the one soonest but at least, my heart is perfectly fine. :)

Life is short. Be happy. Sing as if no one is listening. Love endlessly. Fall in love if you can. Forgive. Say sorry. Say Thank you. Tell your loved ones you love them. Smile. Cry a little. Enjoy youth. Study harder. Embrace changes. Eat healthy. Exercise. Have faith. Believe. PRAY.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! :)))