He did it three times. My friends were telling me not to talk to him anymore because the kind of person that he is isn't worthy of my time. But I was stupid to follow my heart. I believed in him. I believed we're good friends. I believed he values our friendship. And my friends were right. I was wrong. You guys have no idea how much stupidity I feel right now. I wish it's the kind if stupidity that I can just easily laugh off but no, it's the kind of I-wanna-slap-my-face-right-now. I was right with one thing all along though. All these years, he has never seen me at all. I just had these silly thoughts that maybe, just maybe, he saw me. And clearly, he didn't.
He wanted to drop by my house but I lied to him. I said I was out. I wanted to see him but I already cleared my whole week for him. It's my most unproductive week because I was hoping we'll see each other any day he wishes too. When he told me he couldn't make it tonight and he wanted to come here, I realized that he can't see me anytime he wishes to. We're supposed to meet up tonight and for the third time he cancelled it. I already gave 7 days to him. I don't think he realizes what he has done to me. I asked for an explanation and all he could say is that they have a sudden family gathering. Yeah, I get it. I'm the least of his priorities. Who am I anyway to demand some of his precious time?
Dammit!! How can I be so stupid??? Yes, stupidity at its finest. Can someone slap me? I deserve it! I truly deserve it!!! I want to scream! I feel like my chest is gonna explode with so much heartaches and again, stupidity!!! Aaaaahhhhh!!!! I'm so stupid!! I'm the most stupid person right now!!!! And I have a broken heart to heal. How is that for a start of the year?!!!! I feel terribly awful of myself.
I don't know him. Yes, I know his name, couple of his relationship problems and that's all. I didn't have any idea that he could do such thing. I should have not trusted him. I should have not fallen in love with him. See what I will have to go through???
My poor stupid broken heart. Sobrang kawawa, diba? Stupid na, broken pa!! What am I gonna do with you? How did I let you fall so hard when I wasn't sure if there's someone to catch you? How did I let you end up with this misery?? I am so sorry. I should have guarded you. Hindi na tayo natuto. Well, I guess we both deserve some sweets and a little crying. I will get over this sooner than I think. I know I will.
This ends my stupidity. I am moving on. Without him.