Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Late night rants

It has been almost 3 months since I stopped working and went home. 3 months of non - productivity. 3 months of laziness. 3 months of being a full pledged BUM.

I hate to be a bum. I have been working for the last 4 years and am used to it. While it feels good to be home because life is much easier here than living alone, I don't want to stay here for good. I want to explore life.

My family is the main reason why I stay here especially my niece whom I want to see grow up but it is my parents who'll be the reason why I will leave this place. I hate being manipulated. I hate being told of what to do. I hope one day they will realize one day that I am old enough to make my own decisions. I hope one day they will let me live my life the way I want it to.

Tomorrow, I will have a job interview. At first, I am not really sure about it because if I get this job, it means leaving home again but then I thought, whether I get it or not, it's still an opportunity that came knocking twice. I wasn't able to come to the first schedule of the interview because of rashes. I actually thought that they're not interested anymore but 2 days ago, I received an email from the HR Specialist asking me if I still want to come for an interview. I really do think I should come. After all, there's no harm in trying. If I get it, I'd be happy to do the job but if I don't, I guess I will have to look for other job.

I need strength. I need hope. I need motivation. I need inspiration. These are the things that I've lost long time ago. And I do not know where to start picking up the pieces.

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