Sunday, November 6, 2011

Risky, Complicated. Love

I was exchanging texts to my friend about a guy:

Friend: Turn off k na? Hahaha!
Me: Matagal na akong turn off don. Weird lang siya na nagtanong pa siya sa atin tapos kinalimutan naman.
Friend: Bakit affected ka pa din? Is that true love?
Me: True love??? No way!!! Konting crush lang na hindi mapatay patay.
Friend: Kasi nga love mo.
Me: Hindi talaga. Crush lang.
Friend: We'll see. Pag isipan mo bago siya ikasal.

A friend and I were talking about a guy that I like. He is 11 years older. I don't really know him that much. I like him only because of the things that I see in him. I think he's a very nice person. But that's it. I really don't know him so well. The short conversation I had with my friend got me thinking about two things:

1. Otep will always be special to me whether he's not coming back anymore. But because of this, maybe I am still in love with the idea that there's still hope that one day, he might come back.

2. Maybe I feel something special for this older guy, I just don't want to admit it because of two reasons: I am afraid to take the risk for when I fall, he might not be there to catch me and he is getting married next year, what is the point of falling in love?

I am in control of what I feel for him. I am scared to get hurt by a situation I never wanted to be part of. This is too complicated and right now, I can't handle complications in my life. I've had too much to deal with.

2 comments:

Nowhere Man said...

I can relate. It's been about a decade and I still haven't gotten over my one true love. The heart takes on long time to heal. The best I could do was avoid being distracted like that ever again. Love really is too complicated, but I hope you never give up on it the way I have.

kristine said...

Hi! I don't know how you found my blog site but thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

I don't think I have ever given up to love, I guess am just more careful now because it was really painful.

You should find your way back to believing in love again. It's the most real thing in this world. One day, you'll find the right person for you. I know I will.