Friend: Turn off k na? Hahaha!
Me: Matagal na akong turn off don. Weird lang siya na nagtanong pa siya sa atin tapos kinalimutan naman.
Friend: Bakit affected ka pa din? Is that true love?
Me: True love??? No way!!! Konting crush lang na hindi mapatay patay.
Friend: Kasi nga love mo.
Me: Hindi talaga. Crush lang.
Friend: We'll see. Pag isipan mo bago siya ikasal.
A friend and I were talking about a guy that I like. He is 11 years older. I don't really know him that much. I like him only because of the things that I see in him. I think he's a very nice person. But that's it. I really don't know him so well. The short conversation I had with my friend got me thinking about two things:
1. Otep will always be special to me whether he's not coming back anymore. But because of this, maybe I am still in love with the idea that there's still hope that one day, he might come back.
2. Maybe I feel something special for this older guy, I just don't want to admit it because of two reasons: I am afraid to take the risk for when I fall, he might not be there to catch me and he is getting married next year, what is the point of falling in love?
I am in control of what I feel for him. I am scared to get hurt by a situation I never wanted to be part of. This is too complicated and right now, I can't handle complications in my life. I've had too much to deal with.