So I made fun of one of the lecturers (whom I used to have the biggest crush) because I thought he'll take it quite well. I took pictures of him while he was asleep. There were only 4 of us who saw the pictures but maybe he thought I showed it to everyone. I did not. I was totally wrong. He got so mad we took the pictures. He got so mad I didn't delete the pictures immediately. He got so mad we made fun of him. I had my fair share of mistakes on this. I didn't know him well. I should have not took those pictures. We are not even friends. I got so nervous when I saw him so upset. It's the first time I saw him react that way in 8 months I've been in this work.
I said sorry to him and told him I didn't mean to upset him but it looked like it wasn't enough so the next day I gave him my peace offering and I barely went to the office he was staying at so I won't see him. I really feel terrible. I don't think I can ever talk to him again the way I used to. Well, even from the start, he was this man that I always felt like there's a wall between us. I wanted to get to know him better. As I said, he was my crush. But now, it feels like the wall has become bigger and thicker that I won't be able to go through.
Just this morning, I am thinking about it again. In fact, I have been thinking about it for the last 2 nights. I realized I have been complaining to my office mates how over sensitive he was but here I am being too sensitive also because of his reaction. I don't understand why am I hurting. Probably because I thought of him differently. Or because I got this very nice man upset of me. One thing is clear though, I am hurting. Some people may think I am over reacting but it's how I feel. I am so sad and hurt that it can make my cry again. I hope he realizes that if he felt bad about it, I felt bad too as much as he was.
I think the best thing to do with this is to treat him with so much respect. After all, he is a lecturer.