I've always wanted to fall in love as if it's the first time. I've always wanted to be swept off my feet by someone. I've always wanted to meet someone who will make my heart skip a beat. But now, it doesn't matter if I don't. I've seen and known couples who invest time and emotions to a relationship and end up in separate path. I don't want it to happen to me again.
I've fallen in love more than twice and ended up with a broken heart. At 17, I've met the person I fell so deeply in love with. At a very young age, I knew that he was the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. He is my one great love. Imagine how much pain I had to endure when he left just to get over him. I loved him too much that it took me years to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. I prayed so hard for him to come back but he didn't. I've waited for years until one day, I woke up feeling to tired. I knew that day I had to let go. But it was hard. I mean, how I was supposed to let go of someone I tried holding onto for the longest time?
I've met couple of guys after he left. I've dated few times but it just won't work without the magic of love. I have always been a hopeless romantic. I wanted to be with someone romantic, writes love letters, cooks, chubby and will serenade me. But people change. I change. My heart has changed. I don't want to go through that pain I had back in 2004. I don't want to fall in love anymore. I don't want my heart to get broken again. I don't mind being single all my life. I have my family and friends to live with my whole life. I will just probably travel and go to most beautiful places around the world. Or study. Or build my dream vintage yarn/crochet/arts and craft store. Whatever comes my way, I will just gladly accept anything that life has to offer. For the meantime, my heart will rest from falling in love and getting hurt.