Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The guy I am never going to meet

His name starts with letter J. Yup, another J in my life. The guy I exchange "good morning" texts to. I know nothing about him except his first name and probably what he does for work. I'd be lying if I will tell I don't want to get to know him. I do. I just don't know how to do it. I don't know anymore how to carry a nice conversation with a guy. I don't know which questions to ask without asking too much. Although we really haven't had the chance to have a real conversation, the bottom line is I don't know what to do.

Earlier this afternoon, I almost asked him if he would like to have coffee but I didn't do it. I didn't want to embarrass myself had he said no. So without asking him and knowing what his response will be, I just assumed that he will say no for various reasons like he's busy with work, he's got plans for tonight and weather is unstable. Oh, and it's too traffic to be out. For hours, I've been convincing myself that I made the right thing of not asking him. I don't really ask men out. Maybe I did once. But the thing is, I was scared. Asking him out is just a part of the story. Meeting him in person, in case he agreed, would be another story. It just scares the hell out of me. What if it doesn't turn out well? What if I screw up? What if he said yes because he didn't want to be rude but he didn't really want to meet me?

What if? Too many what ifs.  I wish Google could answer all the questions I have in mind. I don't if any of these make sense but it is what I am thinking right now and I had to write something so I can let these crazy ideas go already.

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