My break up with Otep has to be one of the greatest heartbreak of my life. It took me 6 long years to heal my broken heart. Going out with other men didn't help. I am not the type of person who'll get into a relationship just to replace someone else. It doesn't work for me. This explains why I wasn't into a serious relationship for the last 6 years. It is only this year that I actually told myself that it is over. It's about time that I really move on. It wasn't easy. In fact, it was one of the most difficult times of my life because I loved the guy so much and I had to lose him forever.
Fast forward to this year. My heart is in a good condition. I am not in love with anybody but I am 'in like' with someone. It's actually like a breath of fresh air. After so long, here I am getting nervous when he's around or when he talks to me even he doesn't have any idea. When I first realized that I like this guy I barely know, I didn't want to entertain the feeling. Why? Because I just got my heart healed. I don't want heartaches anytime soon and I need my heart to be whole and myself to be strong so I can survive what I am going through right now. But then, this is something I just can't ignore. I like the guy. I'm happy when he's around. In some ways, he inspires me. He seems to be a nice person and has positive outlook in life. This feeling doesn't come at all times.
My feelings might grow into something special. He might not notice me forever. Or he might be meant to be with someone else. The possibility of getting hurt in always there. This may have a happy ending or maybe not. But whatever happens, I will never lose hope in love. :)