A guy that I used to like sometime in 2009 and whom I stopped talking to for 3 long years is back in my life. I do not know why. All I know is that things happen for a reason. He's back because he has a purpose in my life. He's back because God has plans.
When we had our first conversation in 2 years, it didn't feel right. I had mixed emotions. I was a bit happy, scared and full of questions. You see, I didn't think of him for the last 2 years nor did I ask our common friends about him. I forgot him. Then all of a sudden he's back for some reasons I am not aware of. I am just looking on the brighter side of things - starting a better and stronger friendship with him.
I was scared because I used to like him. A lot. In fact, I almost fell for him but he was in a relationship then. He was this person that I felt a special connection though we barely know each other. He was this person that I can rant about anything and everything without being judged. We used to talk over the phone for hours and it felt so 'high school' but it was really fun. Every time I'd feel happy about our connection I would realize that it can't be us. I kept in my mind that he has a girlfriend. We had to stop talking because it affected the girl. She was jealous and I understood how she felt. I would have had the same reaction if I were in her shoes. For 2 years, we didn't hear anything from each other.
Fast forward to 2012, I still didn't think about him until our common friend messaged me about him. Just a couple of days ago, we had a brief conversation over Facebook. Guess what? I felt everything again - sadness, fear and full of questions. It was like I felt the sadness I had when he left for Canada and we stopped talking. I felt the fear of falling for him and he won't be there to catch me. I was full of questions - why is he back? what is God's plan for me? Is he the one I am waiting for the longest time? I know these are silly questions of a girl who dreams and prays for that one right person.
I would like to believe it's destiny. I would like to believe that it's just a matter of waiting for the right time. But I am too scared to get hurt. After years and years of healing my heart, I am too scared of getting it broken again.
I guess I will just have to continue praying and praying that things turn out to what it's supposed to be according to God's will. I know in my heart he has great plans for me. If he really is the one destined to by my lifetime partner, I'd be gladly welcome him in my life. And I'll make pancakes and waffles for him and we'll have breakfast together.